In 2015 I contested for miss charismatic Nigeria, I normally won’t have bothered going for a beauty pageant but I was compelled to do it out of pressure from most people I meet, telling me I ought to be a beauty queen due to my stature and shape.
At first, I wanted to go a particular pageant because it was a small and upcoming pageant. I told myself at least nobody would know if anything went wrong. My friend knew the previous winner and she assured me that the competition was a fair one. Shortly after, another friend told me about another pageant. The immediate past queen happened to be a friend, so I asked for her opinion of me competing and she assured me that it was a good idea and my chances of winning were high as she would assist me to win. So, I decided to enter the competition.
However, just as I feared, I lost, after so much that was invested into it. To make matters worse, there was huge publicity as the social media was involved in the voting process. So, everybody ended up knowing that I went for a pageant and lost.
I later came to realize that the problem wasn’t my losing; it was my attitude towards it. I deleted and blocked all pictures connecting me to the competition on social media. The truth was, my initial goal was not to win that particular competition; rather, it was to give me the exposure and experience I needed for a different but higher-rated pageant. However, my attitude when I failed was totally shocking and strange. So, rather than keep my eyes on my initial plan, I was busy trying to act like it never happened.
Now, when I look at the remaining contestants, they’re all doing so well. Everyone has forgotten about the pageant and moved on; they’re not ashamed of the failure because they’re doing better. A couple of them went for other pageants and won; unlike me that “carried the failure on my head”. I diverted all my energy into making sure people didn’t know I failed.
The Biro story:
I reflected on this moment after receiving a message sent from my friend Femi which inspired this write up, it goes like this; “When I started using a “biro” in primary school, I often made mistakes. I would try hard to erase them. Sometimes I used chalk, but it later reappeared. So I began to use saliva, it worked but only to leave holes in my book. My teachers then used to beat me for being outrageously dirty. But all I tried to do was cover my errors.
One day, a kind-hearted teacher called me aside. “Little boy, anytime you make a mistake, just cross it and move on. Trying to erase it would only damage your book”. “But, I don’t want people to see my mistake and laugh at me”, I protested. “Trying to erase it will make more people know about your mess, and the stigma is for life.”
Cross it and Move on
I won’t let go until that mistake is erased. I make my mistakes a big deal. I hated to fail, and I prevented it so well but anytime I ended up failing, I would make sure I cleared it so anybody will know. Failure is inevitable but we need to have the right mindset after life knocks us down.
Like the errors you make with your pen, cross the mistake and move on! Even when we succeed, we need to move on too. Some of us are so engrossed with past successes that we end up stagnant. There’s a need to constantly press forward, that’s what increases our potentials. Forget the past whether you fail or succeed and keep moving on. The more you try to erase those errors, the more errors you’ll be creating, and those will be graver. It definitely isn’t easy but what other choice is there? Cross it, move on!
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Wumibee
July 14, 2017Wow! So inspiring. Thank you for this awesome write up and reminder. God bless you!
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks dear, God bless you too
Habbie
July 14, 2017There’s a really great message in this write up and I’m so grateful I’m opportuned to read it now because it is what I need most in my life right now. I pray for you and I pray for myself for God to give us strength to cross over failures and move on and never give up until we achieve our goal. May he give us grace to be consistent with our goals and never stop.
With love
Your number one fan
Habbie Money
XoXo
Damola
July 17, 2017Habbie money, thanks fam and Amen to all your prayers
Jibowu Femi
July 14, 2017Your message This is just on point babe!….Am speechless,you are just a genius! !!!
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks my Oga, lol.
TOBE
July 14, 2017That’s a nice inspiration.. We have all had that moment we wouldn’t wish to remember, but the problem is not with what happened but our attitude. It’s only when, we embrace our failures that we can learn and become better..
Meet any successful Man, and if he should be sincere enough with you, he will tell you how learning from his past mistakes made him what he is today..
Damola
July 17, 2017Yes dear, that is very true. our mistakes are not stopping stones but stepping stones; all we need is a positive attitude toward our failures. thanks for your contribution dear
Mcbarth
July 14, 2017Can’t help reading this and not admitting how this piece moved me. This is very inspiring. Keep writing yo!
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks dear, i am happy it inspired you, stay inspired.
Chyme Stanley
July 14, 2017This is absolutely incredible write up, I’ve learnt so much from it. Failure is inevitable. But picking yourself up again is what matters most. You nailed it pretty. Keep it up dearie
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks sir, i am happy you were able to learn from it
Temilade
July 14, 2017Hmmmmmmmm Self confidence just upgraded 💪🏽💪🏽
Damola
July 17, 2017That’s very good dear
Rxchinem
July 14, 2017Nice one
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks
Doyinsola
July 14, 2017Interesting and motivating
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks Doyinsola
Butterfly
July 14, 2017Beautiful write up. I love that you’ve risen above the past. I guess it’s a part of healing,but to be healed one must first acknowledge the problem instead of acting like it’s not there. I pray everyone who reads your write up will cross the healing point and sail through life successfully. I love it. God bless you
Damola
July 17, 2017Great point dear, until you acknowledge the problem, understand the cause, you can’t provide a valid solution for it. Thanks for your contribution dear and God bless you too.
obajimiracheal
July 14, 2017Oh my God dis so nice nd timely weldone babe nd keep it up
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks dear
Azuwike Martin
July 14, 2017Interesting, never new you were a hillarious writer. Keep it up….
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks
Stephen
July 15, 2017Lovely piece, inspiring too. Thanks Mola for sharing your story.
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks dear
Hon Emma
July 15, 2017I did not know you have already been at any beauty contest for I even proposed it as a thought when we met as course mate (USS PGD). I However admire you elegant outlook that your concluded you can never fail any beauty contest if you are well mentored.But all hope is not lost.You have a brighter future than ever.Keep it up and never relent.Miss you.
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks Emma
Peju
July 15, 2017This is a very nice write up and also very very inspiring…..😵
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks sister
Sule J J
July 15, 2017Very deep exposé and astute revelation of life’s reality!
Thanks for this thought provoking epistle.
#TalesOfJosh
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks dear
Kemi K
July 15, 2017Beautiful write up! Well said!👏👏👏
Kemi K
July 15, 2017Rejection is necessary sometimes! Maybe, just maybe after you’re being rejected is because you deserve way better.
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks dear, yes that is very true
MVP
July 15, 2017Nice nice Dami…. Really nice … I like this…
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks dear
Zee
July 15, 2017This is so inspiring much love Bby girl
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks dear
Bee
July 15, 2017Really nice and insightful write up. Good job
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks dear
Mama
July 15, 2017True, as young people we sometimes forget that mistakes are parts of our lives, and we need to cross it and move on. Cross bad relationships, bad decisions… and just move on.
Damola
July 17, 2017That is very accurate my dear, just move on
Airmah
July 16, 2017Beautiful write up!
Damola
July 17, 2017thanks dear
Wemmy
July 16, 2017Whaoo, this is great. Everyone needs to learn from this. Dammy am proud of you dear. Like I always told you “U are Beautiful”. Much love
Damola
July 17, 2017Thanks big sister, God bless you and I love you too
Adewoye Nancy
July 16, 2017Each ‘failure’ is actually a learning opportunity. Things turn out best for those that make the best use of how things turn out. It is not what happens to us, but what happens in us that makes the difference. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. Sometimes too, the brief decision you fear to make, may be carrying your next level promotion. Yes, the cave you fear to enter, contains your treasure. So, be strong when you are weak, be brave when you are scared and be humble when you are victorious. Ride on babe
Damola
July 17, 2017WOW! this is so beautiful, i got a big one from this mummy. it is what happens in us that makes the differences, not what happens to us. thanks for this great contribution ma, God bless you
Shaggy The Méntàlist
July 17, 2017Very inspiring write up. People need to be inspired to understand that failure should not make them give up, but work even harder and they will definitely achieve greater than theirs or anybody else’s expectations.
Damola
July 17, 2017lovely contribution dear, if we can just work a little bit hard, we might overcome.
Mojiradeee
July 18, 2017Amazing!our mistakes,failures are what makes us!and brought us this far,Success wont stand firm if you’ve not experienced what it means to fail***
Fortune
July 29, 2017Inspiring read!!! I have the habit of always trying to erase my mistakes..now i know better. Keep it up girl!!
Akinwale
July 29, 2017Wow, this is so motivating. And I’m going to borrow a page from your book… Thank you so much for this post my instagram friend *smiles*. God Bless You